What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why isn't bestiality illegal in most states? If children can't consent, then animals DEFINITELY can't consent. Why is being a pedophile a crime but zoophilia is not?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Do people have to be a pastor to baptize?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Is using tech to track or monitor your partner’s activities a sign of love, insecurity, or control?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Which album is your favorite that's now 50 years old (from 1975), and what's the best song on the album?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What are your views on music video reactors on YouTube?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why do most atheists in debates with theists take Bible verses out of context much of the time? Are they lying maliciously or do they not understand theology enough to understand the meaning?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.